To Be or Not to Be

It is said that we should hold our heads high and proceed through life as if each moment is our last, have pride in ourselves and what we can do, love our bodies and value our minds. I think I do a fairly good job at all of the above. So good in fact it has become somewhat of a problem. Last year, having completed a fabulous new manuscript, I was making the usual rounds hawking my fresh concept to all the major and some of the minor publishing houses. I had on my new Donna Karen shirt and lucky black slacks and was awaiting my entrance into the marvelous world of the best seller. Two weeks, several cocktails and countless phone conversations with friends later I wondered what went wrong? I had the goods, I had the shirt, I had the attitude. What I didn't have was a three-book contract with foreign rights. Apparently I had grown too big for my lucky britches. I was more than confident and less than competent. I had become cocky. We all know the attitude; we've all fallen victim to it at some time or another. In our thirst for greatness sometimes we overlook the fact that we can't deliver. Just because we want to be something doesn't mean we will. How do we know if we're actually as good at a given task as we perceive ourselves to be? Do we rely on others to tell us or is that co-dependence? When is confidence cocky?