Friday, July 9, 2010

Convicting Convictions

The other day I visited my cousin Chuck in prison. It appears Chuck has a small insider trader problem, which his company, the law and the public at large deem unfair and illegal. Having passed inspection from Bernie, a balding, brutish guard with bad teeth and worse attitude, I talked with Chuck about life in the big house -- the daily routine, the horrible food, the progression from cellmate bitch to getting rich while still behind bars. I left Chuck with my best wishes and a dozen oatmeal cookies he could trade with Bernie for cigarettes, and extra helping of meatloaf or soap-on-a-rope.
Back in the confines of my own home I realized I could never survive prison. First of all I'm a vegetarian and the thought of consuming processed pork products is enough to make me ill. Secondly, I suffer from a terrible guilt complex and therefore could never perform an action that would result in hurt feelings or imprisonment. This complex has kept me from enjoying simple pleasures like eating a grape in the produce aisle without paying for it or lying to my parents in a ploy to get money to spend fool heartedly. Of course my guilt complex has kept me guiltless in most situations, but has it also kept me from living a rich, full life? Our convictions may keep us from being convicted, but do they also hold us prisoner to our own feelings?

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