Sometime ago I decided to rid all my pent-up guilt by going on a pseudo religious weekend retreat meant to cleanse the soul and make me at one with the universe. All the chanting and stargazing was lovely for about ten minutes, but I am a city boy and require background noise to be at ease. For two days I held hands with strangers, drank from communal cups and peed in the woods -- basically everything my mother warned me against. After forty-eight hours of listening to and making up confessions, I was more than ready to return to my normal life of little white lies and unkept promises.
As I eased back into my life at large, I noticed I did feel somewhat different -- rejuvenated. I felt I could breath easier and exhale completely without mumbling a profanity at whomever was perturbing me at the moment. As time progressed though, my secret past began forcing its way in, and I could feel the guilt of deeds done weighing heavily on my shoulders. I told myself the pas was the past and to stay focused on the present. This was of little help. Why is it events that occurred years ago can still remain crystal clear while my PIN number escapes me when I need it most? Why do we care about things we've done when no one else knows we've done them? How do we live with the unforgettable regrettables.
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